TOBY!

I will not have my newly fashioned bosom talked about in public! I overheard someone who had eavesdropped on a conversation Jennifer (that horrible big-calved woman) was having with Helen (that pestilential cow) about you. Apparently you have been telling everyone down there that I have large areolae. I will have you know that no one has ever seen my not-overlarge areolae except my pet goldfish, once and on a particularly tenebrous afternoon.

Hurt,

G.