I have several things to add, however I shall confine my response to the shortest, the most Kurt, the most Frank and the most Peter (to mention nothing of the customary musical nature of such replies)
Dear Toby,
Review the facts, before so rashly condemning my acts.
You have known me since the Flight,
(When the Director's son, that knave, that blight;
(Was turned into the order's first Knight
(Oh what a sorry plight!)
You know I have never acted amiss
Even in the time of the Bliss
(When the Director son, that cretin, that clot,
(Was very happily shot
(Yay! and Goodie!).
So is it likely that I have infringed that law most sacred?
Is it likely that I have had a flightless bird butchered (and naked)?
NO.
Look closer and you shall see,
Yes the bird was at birth bereft of flight,
And yes I was indeed there that night,
But before poisoned,
I fixed him to a kite.
Yours (just about)
G.
As a pigeon- toed member of the Most (and sometimes Exaltingly) Venerable Lodge of the Most High (and sometimes less so) Flightless Homing Pigeon, I find it extremely - almost beyond comprehension - disturbing that there could even be the merest possibility of a Flightless avian (May It Walk in Peace) having been subjected to mindless violence. If this dastardly act is proven to be a reality I shall, as High Chancellor and resident bookkeeper of the above-mentioned lodge, issue a Trafalgar Fatwa against the dastardly perpetrator, whereby all those of the pigeon fraternity, flightless or not, shall seek out the perpetrator, as long as he lives, and shit on him, his family and his car. And if he is dead then to dance, coo and, if the mood takes takes them, shit on his grave.
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